Pastor

Individuals who struggle with same-sex urges have often felt ostracized and condemned by the Christian community as "the worst of sinners." Nothing could be further from the truth. Recognizing that the God of the Bible extends grace towards anyone who struggles to live independently from Him--whether it's with heterosexual or homosexual urges--should be the determining factor in learning how to not only enjoy grace for oneself, but also to share that same grace with others.

Getting To Know Jesus - 040

How important is money in your life? How important is God in your life? Where do you place your priorities in regards to what you do to earn money and how you use it? Is your giving to God a pleasure or pain? Which is more important, God or your money?

Addictions are consuming many people today. And many don't know where to turn for help. Unfortunately, the church doesn't often have a good reputation for handling people with addictive struggles well. However, an authentic New Testament church should be more like a hospital than a resort hotel. That kind of grace-filled hope would send a very different message to addicts desperately looking for help.

Addictions flourish in the dark where there is not light. Exposure is the only antidote to breaking the bondage that an addict feels. Talking to others is a must. A trusted friend is a good place to start, but more is often needed.

AA groups have been around for a long time and have helped many men and women break free from many kinds of addictions. One of the reasons they have been so successful is because they have created a community where everyone is accepted as a co-struggler and is given the opportunity to struggle well in a safe and encouraging environment.

Gambling and gaming addictions have been on the rise, especially with the introduction of the internet and electronic gaming. People can lose vast quantities of money, time, and energy trying to make that one big score. But in the end, they miss out on enjoying life in the present while obsessively absorbed in the gamble on an uncertain and fleeting future.

Gambling and gaming addictions have been on the rise, especially with the introduction of the internet and electronic gaming. People can lose vast quantities of money, time, and energy trying to make that one big score. But in the end, they miss out on enjoying life in the present while obsessively absorbed in the gamble on an uncertain and fleeting future.

Many spouses beat themselves up after their partner has had an affair. Somehow they begin thinking it was their fault. But what they fail to understand is that their unfaithful partners don't have affairs primarily for sexual pleasure. What attracts people to affairs is that they become opportunities for them to experience pleasure without the responsibilities of relationship.

Whenever anyone demands that any sexual pleasure be fulfilled that is outside of God's design for our sexuality, there are addictive issues involved. That's true whether the demands are for heterosexual or homosexual urges to be met. Both are destructive, addictive, and contrary to the best pleasures that God has to offer for those made in His image.

The continuum of sexual addictions is broader than you might think. It often begins with seemingly benign sexual fantasies and escalates into soft porn in magazines and internet. From there it grows into increasingly harder core pron and can eventually be acted out at strip clubs, affairs, and prostitution. Explore with Larry Crabb the degree of sexual addictions and the destructive effect they have on real intimacy and relationships.

With the introduction of the internet, sexual addictions have increased dramatically for both men and women. When sexual pleasure is viewed as the ultimate goal in any relationship and eclipses the desire to love well, you are sexually addicted. This distortion of sexual desire has resulted in countless shattered relationships.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it can still hurt if it's feedback from a loving friend or family member who is telling you that you're addicted. No one likes to hear that, much less absorb it and take it to heart. However, true love means being willing not only to take the risk of telling each other the truth, but also being open to receiving it as well.

Denial is a major part of the addictive cycle that keeps and addict hooked. But when the blindness of denial is broken, and addict has the opportunity to make some real progress towards wholeness and healing. Telling the truth to yourself and others gets the ball moving in the right direction.

Work was originally designed by God to be a significant part of a meaningful life. But work can become an idol when it becomes a substitute for deeply meaningful relationships with others. Learning how to evaluate your work and the place it has in your life is critical to maintaining a balanced perspective on work.

Almost everyone loves to shop. Both men and women can get into the thrill of buying some new item that brings a certain level of happiness. But shopping can become a problem when it gets out of control and in the way of meaningful relationships. Needing to buy something new is very different than enjoying buying something new. That's when spending means way too much and help is needed.

While it might be hard to believe, just about anything around us can become an addiction. Not only are there addictions to things that we know from the start are destructive, but things that are good can be transformed into destructive addictions that become all-consuming.

The shame of a secret addiction is one of the reasons we try and handle our addictions alone. We're afraid of being seen and then discarded. However, the only way to break the power of an addiction is to share it in a safe community with others who truly care about you.

Addictions always begin as a pursuit of pleasure to avoid pain. However, addictions also betray us with the shame that quickly follows on the heels for the addiction that increases our original pain that we sought to relieve with the addiction. And so the cycle deepens and becomes even more irresistible.

The power of an addiction is the gravitational pull it seems to have on the heart of the addicted person. While it's more easily understood that substances like drugs and alcohol have addictive physical qualities, it is far more difficult to grasp how legitimate things like food, sex, money, and work can become compulsively destructive to an addict. Understanding the addictive cycle is necessary to understanding the addictive pull of even good things.

Most agree that we live in an addictive culture where just about any pleasurable activity can become addictive. And since denial is a part of the addict's world, how do you know when you've stepped over the line from enjoyment to addiction? Learning how to ask yourself (and those you love) probing questions can help you take a second look at whether or not you're addicted.