This song is too good not to be heard in a wider context.
Fredrik Lauvland / Mikael Stensland
Kollektivet Lovsang
Translation notes:
Lyrics are best translated thought for thought as much as possible. Word for word is usually a mess, and it's a good idea to avoid well-worn phrases, for once these are over-used they become clichés that have lost the power to stimulate.
"Hellige Ånd / Hellige Ånd" & "Kongenes Konge" are both terms that are important to get right, but their translations don't fit the music. Hellige Ånd is 4 syllables with a / ^^ / rhythm, Hellig Ånd has 3: / ^ /. But the English, "Holy Spirit" has 4 syllables in an iambic pattern / ^ / ^ , while "Holy Ghost" is too old-fashioned to use nowadays, and has wrong associations. Likewise, King of Kings is iambic / ^ / but "Kongenes Konge" goes / ^^ / ^ .
So when choosing a suitable translation I have first rephrased the opening lines. "O Holy Lord,” which preserves the "holy" aspect, and introduces the point that the LORD is that Spirit who is present; The Holy Spirit is God here personally, no less!
I chose "O Holy LORD,” not "Come..." because "come" gives the impression we are bossing God around, which is unfortunate, but having once said O, which is a supplication, when we later sing "Come, Holy Spirit.." this also comes across as a supplication; and of course, now the proper subject of the song: the Holy Spirit, has been invoked by His title.
To fix the rhythm problem of "King of Kings", I moved it to the line before to get it to scan, and transferred the thought-content to the next line.
"To you would I belong" has a very particular meaning or nuance contained in the word-order: "I wish or long to belong to you". But "I would belong to you" implies "..."but I don't" while "To you l would belong" can imply "I wish to" but could imply: ... "but that isn't possible".
The original line reads "I give myself completely to you", which quite obviously has far too many syllables for the line. A shorter form "I wholly give myself, eases the strain but then can be misheard as "holy", and in any case still doesn't solve much. "My self I wholly give" will scan, and by separating "my" and "self" makes a point, but leaves out "to whom or what?"; so it feels both unsatisfactory, incomplete, and what is worse, - sounds banale.
"O" on its own, does not mean the same as "Oh". "O" means "it is you I am addressing", while "Oh" (in this setting,) is a sigh from the heart.
"Hovering", is, of course, a reference to Genesis 1 verse 2.
https://youtu.be/3wNrJISn-vU?si=PBbIQNvJg-EsGANp
